The moon is dark, the wind is high, and the cold is blowing. In front of the dome-shaped Terracotta Warriors and Horses Museum, we can see from a distance. The street lights are dim, and there is a barbecue stall grilling mutton skewers sizzling in the cold wind. Several foreign tourists are drinking Drinking soju and talking loudly.
Unable to resist the temptation of the aroma of barbecue, Huang Laoyan took two deep breaths and came over to sit on the stool, swallowing and spitting.
The barbecue vendor is an elderly white-haired old man, dressed in mysterious clothes and a miter, which seems to be the costumes of the Qin Dynasty. In some domestic tourist attractions, businesses often deliberately dress up like ancient people to attract tourists. It is commonplace and not enough. Strange.
"How many strings do you want?" The old man glanced at the guest who was wearing hospital clothes and wearing bare feet, and asked in rich Shaanxi dialect.
"The more, the merrier." Huang Laoyan sniffed and drooled.
"Do you have money?"
"Money?" Huang Laoyan was stunned for a moment, touched his pocket, and then scolded with a dissatisfied face, "Do I still need to pay?"
The tourists nearby were all happy. A middle-aged lady interceded: "Boss, look at this guy's bare feet in winter and wearing hospital clothes. He must be mentally disturbed. Just give him a few strings and we'll pay." alright."
The old man reluctantly handed over some spicy kebabs.
Huang Laoyan grabbed the iron hammer and sucked it into his mouth, sucking all the mutton skewers into his mouth. His mouth was filled with oil and he was full of praise.
"Hey, that's very strange." Huang Laoyan muttered, staring straight at the crotch of the barbecue vendor.
The white-haired old man's expression suddenly changed when he heard this, and he moved to stand behind the barbecue, but it was too late. The eyes of the tourists had already caught a glimpse of his bulging crotch, which was several times larger than an ordinary person's erection. .
People snickered incessantly. This old man in his seventies could still do this. The land of Qin indeed produced strong men. The middle-aged female tourist looked even shy and had a strange look in her eyes.
"Closing the stall and not selling any more." The old man said angrily, slamming down the drill in his hand.
"Who are you, Lao Ai?" Huang Laoyan asked casually.
The old man was stunned, and his originally cloudy eyes suddenly became extremely clear, with a hint of murderous intent in his sharp gaze. He silently packed up the stall, picked up the pole and walked away without saying a word.
"Hey, boss, I haven't paid yet." The group of tourists shouted.
The white-haired old man seemed unconscious and disappeared into the woods in the blink of an eye.
Huang Laoyan sneered twice, "hehe", then swayed and chased after him.
The path winds towards a hidden mountain col. The moon is looming in the dark clouds . It is dark in the forest. From time to time, several shrill owl cries can be heard in the ears. There are many such evil cat-headed monsters in corpse places. Birds are out.
After turning around a black pine forest, three dilapidated adobe houses appeared in front of them. The white-haired old man put down his pick, and at this moment, an old woman's voice came from inside the house: " Gui Xin Gui Xin , are there guests tonight?"
The white-haired old man chuckled: "He's just a man seeking death."
"Then just let it go." The person in the room hummed.
"Who are you?" the old man said coldly without looking back.
"When autumn comes on the eighth day of the ninth month, when the flowers bloom, hundreds of flowers will bloom. The fragrance will penetrate Chang'an, and the city will be covered with golden armor." Huang Laoyan stood with his hands behind his back and recited loudly.
"Nonsense." The white-haired old man snorted with disdain. He suddenly turned around and raised his arms. Under the faint moonlight, a sound broke through the air suddenly, and countless black iron drills shot towards him like a rain of arrows.
Huang Laoyan calmly rubbed his hands, and suddenly a colorful halo appeared in front of him, and the iron drills seemed to have solidified and stopped in mid-air.
The old man was shocked when he saw this, and said in astonishment: "You are a nightmare!"
"Little old man, you haven't replied to me yet, what is Lao'ai's relationship with you?" Huang Laoyan asked, looking at the other person's bulging crotch.
"It's my ancestor." The old man's arrogance was gone at this moment, and he answered tremblingly.
"Haha, well, no wonder, the vagina is so big." Huang Laoyan laughed.
According to "Historical Records. Biography of Lu Buwei", a foreigner from the Qin State, Lao Ai, had a huge penis and was a servant of Lu Xiangguo. One day, he was favored by Li Si to perform a sex wheel. He used the erect penis under the crotch as the axis and penetrated the paulownia wheel. Running wildly around the courtyard without falling. Li Si quietly spread the news to Lu Buwei. At this time, Lu Buwei was trying to break away from the entanglement of Queen Mother Zhao Ji, so he pretended to castrate Lao Ai and sent her to her as a eunuch. Queen Mother Zhao Ji was in love at the age of thirty-four, so she summoned Lao Ai to the palace and doted on her day and night. She was named Marquis of Changxin and called herself the "false father" of King Qin Yingzheng.
Zhao Ji and Lao Ai traveled together. The two stayed in the carriage for five days without thinking about food and drink, enjoying the pleasure of fish and water. When the Empress Dowager Qin finally stepped out of the carriage, her face was as radiant as her youth had returned, while Lao Ai's figure was haggard and gray-haired, which astonished the guarding sergeants.
In the ninth year of the First Emperor (AD 238), someone reported that Lao Ai was a fake eunuch who had an affair with the Queen Mother and gave birth to two sons. Qin Shihuang was furious and ordered the whole country: "Whoever captures Lao Ai alive will be given one million yuan, and whoever kills Lao Ai will be given five hundred thousand yuan." Soon after the incident, Lao Ai, who fled in panic, was captured alive and torn apart in a chariot, and his son was thrown into the bag. After the death, the Queen Mother was expelled from Xianyang and moved to Gongyang Palace outside the city. She severed the relationship between mother and son and never saw her again.
Huang Laoyan stared at the old man and asked doubtfully: "Lao Ai and his two sons were killed by King Qin back then, so how did they become your ancestors?"
"What you don't know is that our ancestor Lao Ai and his two sons did not die, but were secretly betrayed by the then Tingwei Li Si, and later they hid in Jiulong Mountain incognito." The old man explained.
"Is this true?" Huang Laoyan didn't seem to believe it, so he said, "Take off your pants and I will know it at a glance."
The old man looked at the hundreds of iron drills still stagnant in mid-air. He knew that his skills could not compete with the legendary "Nightmare". He did not dare to disobey and obediently unfastened his belt and took off his cotton trousers to expose his knees. There was an extremely huge club-headed male penis with protruding veins. It looked like a hibernating python, thick and long, which made people feel awe.
"Haha, you are indeed a descendant of Lao Ai." Huang Laoyan laughed when he saw this. He had no doubts at this moment. It can be said that this person is absolutely unparalleled in the world.
"What's your name?" he asked.
"My name is ' Gui Xin ', and the one in the house is 'Bai Can'." The old man said respectfully as he pulled up his trousers.
"It's the first time I've met you two little old men who are called you with criminal names." Huang Laoyan said hey.
According to the legal system of the Qin Dynasty, " Ghost Xin Baican" was a three-year prison term for male prisoners to go up the mountain to cut firewood and female prisoners to choose rice for worshiping ghosts and gods. After the Sui Dynasty, it was changed to "da stick migration".
"Excuse me, Master, are you really Huang Chao, the 'Soaring General' in the late Tang Dynasty?" Guixin asked cautiously.
Huang Laoyan waved his hand lightly, and the iron drills in the air fell to the ground with a crackle: "Yes, I have something to ask you."
"Please tell us inside the general's room." Guixin pushed open the two wooden doors and led Huang Laoxiang inside.
The furnishings in the house are extremely simple. Apart from a bed of earthen beds, there are only rough wooden tables and chairs, and the air is filled with the smell of mutton.
Huddled among the messy quilts on the kang was a skinny old woman with gray hair and a face full of wrinkles. Only her eyes were sinister, staring at Huang Laoyan with vigilant eyes.
"This master is Huang Chao, the leader of the rebel army in the late Tang Dynasty, "General Soaring to the Sky", and later the emperor of the Qi Kingdom," Gui Xin introduced at the side. "The humble wife 'Bai Can' has been bedridden and paralyzed for many years."
Huang Laoyan hummed and asked, " Guixin , the descendants of Lao Ai's ancestors lived at the foot of Lishan Mountain. There must be a reason for coming here."
"What the general said is absolutely true. We are both guardians of the tomb."
"tell me the story."
Guixin glanced at his wife and said: "Back then, Tingwei Li Si rescued his ancestors, Lao Ai and his son, and made them hibernate in Jiulong Mountain. A few years later, the First Emperor died and was buried in the Lishan Tomb. Thirty thousand soldiers were buried with him to form an underworld. The commander of the army is Lao Ai."
"Oh." Huang Laoyan's heart moved when he heard this.
"These 30,000 people are elite soldiers who have been on the battlefield for a long time. After they were poisoned by Li Si with mercury, their souls were confined in 30,000 pottery figurines, and they were sealed with blessing witchcraft. The soul of ancestor Lao Ai was sealed in The body of the pottery figurine of the commander of the three armies was buried under the Lishan mausoleum together with the legion, and his two sons and descendants lived here as guardians of the tomb to prevent future generations from robbing the tomb and stealing the seal of the pottery figurine."
"How to open the seal of the pottery figurine?" Huang Laoyan asked the key point.
"This" Gui Xin hesitated, and glanced secretly at the old woman on the kang.
"Old man, the guardian of the tomb will never reveal the secret of the seal." The old woman shouted sternly.
Huang Laoyan sneered, and suddenly a colorful halo of light erupted from his palm, instantly covering the old woman in it. Its shape was like a bowl, with red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple needles of light inside densely piercing her body, "Ah "The old woman let out a series of shrill screams.
"As the saying goes, 'It's better to die than to live', I will let you have a taste of the 'Seven-Colored Soul-Eating Needle'." Huang Laoyan said disdainfully.
The room was filled with the old woman's extremely miserable screams, which didn't even sound like a human voice. The pain of her body and the torture of her soul were like falling into the eighteenth level of hell, which was unbearable to watch.
Gui Xin couldn't bear it anymore, his knees softened and he knelt on the ground, begging: "General, stop quickly, I'm telling you."
Huang Laoyan waved his hand and removed the seven-color mask. At this moment, the old woman was still twitching all over and couldn't even speak.
"The seal on the pottery figurine was restricted by Zhuyou's witchcraft under Li Si's rule back then. Therefore, the same technique must be used to open it. There is no other way." Guixin told the truth.
"Zhuyou witchcraft?" Huang Laoyan stared at Guixin and said slowly, "You and your wife are the guardians of the tomb. You should know this kind of "Zhuyou witchcraft", right?"
"General, in order to prevent future generations of mausoleum guardians from stealing the seal at will, Li Si did not pass down the method of unsealing, but left it to his descendants so that he could mobilize the 30,000 Yin soldiers in case of danger. " Guixin explained.
"So only his descendants can open the seal?" Huang Laoyan asked doubtfully.
"General, you should know that after the death of the First Emperor of Qin, Hu Hai, the second emperor of the Qin Dynasty, collected corvee labor for the construction of Afang Palace, which caused widespread resentment among the people. Li Si wrote a letter to advise him and was framed by Zhao Gao for rebellion. He was killed in half by the Bingyi tribe in Xianyang. His son Li You was defeated in the army. The rebel army was killed in Yongqiu. Therefore, the Li family did not leave any direct heirs, and the method of opening the seal was lost long ago. This was something Li Si did not expect when he set up this situation."
Huang Laoyan nodded. He knew this history very well, but he was unwilling to just listen to Guixin 's words.
"Who has the best 'Zhuyoushu' in the world today?" he asked. He had been hiding in an underground tomb for more than a thousand years and knew nothing about the world.
"I heard that Guo Pu of the Eastern Jin Dynasty should be the highest Zhu Youshu, and no one in future generations can match it."
"Isn't that more than 1,600 years ago?" Huang Laoyan was furious and scolded fiercely, "Does he have any descendants alive?"
"I really don't know." Guixin replied tremblingly.
"Since I don't know, what's the point of keeping you here?" After Huang Laoyan said this, he opened his arms and "Pop, Pap" two seven-color lightning bolts came out from his palms and shot into the fontanelles on the heads of Guixin Baican and his wife respectively. They were both killed instantly on the spot.
Huang Laoyan kicked the old man Guixin 's body in disgust, and said with a sneer: "What a pity!"