I have been a Buddhist for many years, but when I think about my youthful and frivolous past, I can't help but feel a sense of fear. Because my past is unbearable to look back on, not that my experiences are painful and unbearable to look back on. But when I think of the Buddha’s vast grace and never leave anyone behind, I feel ashamed that I heard the Dharma too late and have done too many wrong things.
It was only when I was over 35 that I truly believed in Buddhism. Previously, when I was 24 years old, I had read several Buddhist scriptures annotated by Nan Huaijin, but had no experience or practice. When I was 35 years old, I had a real understanding of Buddhism after reading a book called "Jinshan Monk's Travels". Later, after reading the sermons of great masters such as Master Xuyun, Master Xuanhua, and Master Tuguang, I gained a true feeling and practice of Buddhism.
The story of my adultery is a true story, and the encounter with a ghost is also a personal experience. If I tell a lie, I will go to hell. Husband, there are sentient beings who doubt that there is no hell. What can your vows mean? When sentient beings commit sins, hell will appear. However, when practicing Buddhism, one's own mind cannot be attained. The five aggregates are all empty, and there is no trace of others or self. Where should hell be on earth? However, people who study Buddhism do not tell lies, and use this as proof, and use their own experiences to warn those who come after them! In fact, my mother-in-law is very anxious, fearing that there will be imitators or degenerates who will taste the honey of temporary hell and think it is a happy thing, but will not know the joy of Buddha and the great event of learning Buddhism.
1. In 1999 (I forget the specific year), I was still in the army. At that time, I was influenced by the bad habits in the army and liked to target women. Because there are few women in the military camp. So I started to have bad ideas about the family members around me.
One day it was summer, and the staff officer's wife I was getting along with was in a barracks. Because of the bad influence around me, I became extremely impulsive. One morning, I secretly hugged a colleague's wife and pulled her arm to do something bad. Unexpectedly, at noon that day, another comrade and I were taking a nap in the dormitory (the troops all have the habit of taking naps), and suddenly something strange happened. I could see clearly that two people came and tried to pull my arm away, which meant that I had done something wrong. I was so scared that I shook my hands and kicked for a while. I woke up from a dream during the day, but I really knew that it was not a dream. Those two people looked scary and expressionless. But my colleague in the room was still sleeping soundly, and he didn't know anything. When I woke up, I couldn't sleep for a while. I guessed that I might have been dreaming in broad daylight just now, so I comforted myself. Said nothing happened. Just after I fell asleep, these two people came again and pulled my arm to let me go. I woke up again, and my arm really hurt. What do you think is going on? So, I knew I had done something wrong.
2. Which era did you practice ghost cultivation ? Another strange thing happened. One afternoon, purely by accident, I discovered a room where the wife of one of my superiors was visiting relatives from her hometown. Which room is she taking a shower in? Somehow, I actually had the idea of taking a peek. However, which window is really a little cracked, hey! I actually saw a little bit of it. This is the impression of these three or four seconds. Suddenly a soldier came next to him. I quickly avoided it. That's the reason. Something bad happened that night.
That night, it was probably around three or four o'clock in the middle of the night. I developed sleepwalking phenomenon. This has never happened to me. I myself have no willpower to prevent this from happening. But one night, I sleepwalked. After I got out of bed, I walked around the room. I was barefoot. He also pulled the comrade sleeping next to me up and talked to him in his sleep. He was frightened by my actions and kept scolding me, but I didn't know. All I knew was that there was a biting cold feeling under my feet, and I returned sleepily. It was strange that one night I slept very hard, couldn't get up in the morning, couldn't do morning exercises, and was very tired during the day. The whole process that happened that night was also told to me by my comrades, sentence by sentence. He is several years older than me. Said I was possessed. Later, I realized my mistake. After that, sleepwalking never happened again, just this time.
3. At that time, I had a relationship with a married man, but I had premature ejaculation outside my body. In this experience, the skin of my genitals was inexplicably swollen. My comrade said he wanted to see it, and I What happened to that thing? I looked at it out of curiosity and felt sick on the spot. This is my experience. I used to be healthy, but two years later, during a physical examination, I was found to have liver disease, which is a type of hepatitis B that carries the virus but is resisting it. This virus cannot cure ghost cultivators , and I have not been cured either. My wife said that maybe I will be in this situation for the rest of my life. It is not contagious at ordinary times, it is only contagious when having close relationships. I don't know how it came about. I deeply regret. I estimated the time, I have been carrying the liver virus for about ten years. After I decided to study Buddhism in 2005, in the spring of 2007, I found that the virus was gone and I was back to normal. I haven't taken any medication for the past few years. The only thing I do is eat vegetarian food, study Buddhism, and practice Buddhism. When this virus is gone, I don’t feel excited at all. All I know is: Buddha’s kindness is so great, what should I do to repay Buddha’s kindness!
Nowadays, although I am determined to learn Buddhism, I still have evil thoughts that disturb my pure mind. I know that practicing Buddhism requires making great vows. I am willing to share the same aspirations with my fellow practitioners and brothers. We must not be obsessed with sexual immorality and cause hundreds of harms. We must not be obsessed with it, and we must not cause eternity of ruin just because of a quick moment!
Wake up! My classmates, comrades-in-arms, migrant workers, and Internet surfers who are still engaging in adultery!
Sexual immorality can only harm yourself!
It is a trivial matter for a ghost to encounter a ghost scene in the ghost world. When you receive bad retribution, it will last forever!
Supplement: Originally, I wanted to deeply repent today. But while typing this, I forgot that there is another real thing.
I don't know why, when I have lustful thoughts and deeds, strange things always happen. Now, I wonder, did I ever make such a big wish in my previous life? unknown. However, by exposing the true story of this kind of sexual immorality to all the online brothers and fellow practitioners, I hope it will save me from the serious sins!
4. When the above experience happened, I had not yet learned Buddhism. I was just a zombie chasing after sex! The slight difference is that this fourth story happened after I got married.
The year was around 2000, and my wife went out of town. One day, I was taking a long-distance bus from a place back to the city where I was staying. I was seduced by a woman on the long-distance bus, and because of my own demonic obsession, I actually touched the woman sitting with me with my hand. I had no regrets afterwards and still had a lot of memories about it. That same night. It's a summer night. In the middle of the night, probably after twelve o'clock in the evening. I heard the door being opened with a key, and the sound of the key was clearly audible. I thought, since I live in a large courtyard, no bad guy would be bold enough to come in. I just wondered if my wife was back. I only listened but did not watch. It felt like, for a while, she came in. It's strange that she didn't say anything when she came in. And I was very angry. I think that for you to come home all the way without even saying hello; and for you to come back in the middle of the night, the timing, emotion and reason cannot be justified. Just pretend to be asleep, don't ask her, don't pay attention to her. Later, for a minute, I really felt her taking off her clothes, and I heard the slight sound of her clothes being taken off. I was even more angry. At this time, I remember clearly that I was lying on my front. Suddenly, she came up from my feet. And she doesn't look like my wife. I truly saw (if I had told a lie during this experience, I would have been trapped in the Abi Hell forever and would not be able to leave), she was: fat, dirty all over, getting ready to go to bed from under my feet. At this time, my hair stood on end, and I knew that she was not a human being. She is either a ghost or a different kind of person. I grabbed my covered head with one hand, and suddenly remembered what my mother told me when I was a child, saying that when you see the swirling wind, you should spit. I was so anxious that I actually spat.
The night was quiet, and the dirty, fat person, whose face I had not yet seen, but whose shape I only knew, disappeared. I was so scared that I kept my head covered all night. You can imagine. Am I dreaming? After the second day, in the summer of June, people’s windows were open during the day and open at night. Only I would rather suffer the heat than dare to open the window. A few days later, my wife came back from out of town, and I didn't dare to tell her what happened. I knew in my heart that because my heart was impure, I was doing my own thing and inviting dirty ghosts into my bed. That's it, I don't believe in Buddhism yet. All you know is that you must practice all good deeds and refrain from all evil deeds.
It’s a long story, but one post can prove it. Buddhism is true! How can it be true that I am qualified to testify about these things? I just deeply repent, and I only hope that all sentient beings who have committed sexual misconduct with me or are still committing sexual misconduct will wake up as soon as possible!
The Buddha appeared in the world due to a major cause and effect, and all sentient beings were deluded and unaware of it. Now, I hope you all can realize Bodhi with me!