part4: Is it an illusion or not?
Freud once said in his book "The Interpretation of Dreams": "Dreams are an accumulation of a lot of psychological elements and a fulfillment of wishes."
I don't know what wish I want to fulfill. Those simple ancient people once believed that dreams are a kind of oracle, coming from the vast sky above our heads. Sometimes, I also want to be like those ancient people, chasing the call of God simply and bravely. But reality finally told me that dreams are just the product of my inner subconscious, a shackle between the reality I believe, confusing illusion and reality. Which one do I need most?
Under the sunlight, I saw the corners of Wang Qiang's mouth raised slightly, "How do you like it? Do you want to try it?"
"Why should I trust you?"
"So, the parcel I sent you hasn't been opened yet?"
"What? That damn parcel was sent by you?" I stood up impatiently and grabbed his arm tightly. "What's in it?" It seemed that I used too much force and he wrinkled. Frowning, he took my hands off his arms, then picked up the teacup, took a sip, and said slowly: "I don't know!"
"Ha, you don't know, you don't know!" My tone was full of sarcasm. Suddenly, as if I remembered something, I suddenly slapped my forehead and said like crazy: "I know! What kind of schizophrenia? What kind of dream? You are simply lying to me. Today's technology has not reached the point where it can forcefully instill dreams into people. At best, it can only affect people's psychological activities. I was misled by you from the beginning. When I fainted. It was among the mandala flowers. Datura has a strong hallucinogenic effect, so I am still in the illusion of mandala. And you don’t know what is in the mail package because I haven’t even had time to open the mail package. Fainted, to be honest, you are just a product of my subconscious fantasy, right?" I think everything like this is really reasonable. I still have a glimmer of hope in my heart, trying to see a trace of panic in Wang Qiang's expression. In that case, , maybe I'm right.
However, I saw him smile, a deep smile, and I could feel that the smile was filled with sarcasm and – pity.
"Some people are in a dream but don't know it. In the pain of confusion, they want to break the shackles of nightmares over and over again. Some people are in reality but yearn for the nothingness of dreams and do whatever they want. If you still can't tell the difference between reality and dreams. , let me show you something!” he said.
He entered the house for a while and then came out. I saw something like a square frame in his hand, which seemed to be a picture frame. He still had an enigmatic smile, and then he turned the photo frame around. In an instant, the photos in the photo frame made my heart tremble violently like a thunderbolt.
That is the scenery of Naihe Bridge, the same small bridge, flowing water, and the same mandala flower. The only difference is that there are several figures standing in the center of Naihe Bridge, including me, the boss, the second child, and another Boy, I vaguely felt that he was familiar to me, but I just couldn’t remember where I had seen him.
"Where did you get this photo?" I suppressed my surprise, but my voice was still trembling.
"I found this in your notebook after your schizophrenia. As far as I know, the scenery behind you is inside a mountain behind your high school. Also, they are your roommates in high school, and they usually He helps you often and is probably the closest person to you besides your adoptive parents.”
"Then where are they now?"
I saw that the smile on Wang Qiang's face no longer existed, but instead had a sad expression. Then he said slowly: "They are all dead."
"What? Impossible, impossible!" I shook my head crazily. This fact made my heart unable to bear the blow.
"Yes, they are all dead. Kill them one by one on the day you became ill!"
"No, no, this must be my dream. They are not dead. They must not be. Tell me how to get out. Tell me quickly!" I had a splitting headache. I pulled Wang Qiang's collar and veins popped up on my arms. I just want him to tell me that this is just a dream, that's all.
There was an extraordinary calmness in his expression, and he remained motionless as I grabbed his collar. After I calmed down, he said, "Every dream has loopholes set by your subconscious mind. If I really want to cure you, I can only let you go back to that dream again, so that you can truly free yourself from the dream of nothingness." Come out, then your treatment will be more than half successful."
"If this is reality, then I would rather live in that empty dream. At least, there are my brothers and relatives there." I said slowly.
Then, I saw him place a cold instrument over my head. My consciousness gradually blurred, and it seemed that there was still a large mandala surrounding me, spinning, gradually pulling me into a light.
When the world we knew before was desolated into an old desert, what kind of dream traveler did you come here as?
part1: Death Mail Packet
My name is Su Cheng, a sophomore student at T City Medical College. I have been here for nearly two years. Apart from the boredom and emptiness of life, I have no other feelings. I have also lost my past passion for university.
until one day……
I was eating in the restaurant after class at noon when a text message alert suddenly sounded. It was a mail parcel, and I was asked to pick it up on a small bridge south of the playground. I stared at my phone blankly, but I was secretly surprised, because I knew a thing or two about the rumors there.
The boss who was eating suddenly snatched my phone away and said with a wicked smile, "Who sent this text message? He didn't even eat!" Then he scrolled for a while and looked at me strangely, "A merchant You’ve been reading the promotional text message for so long, do you want to buy something?”
"What kind of promotional text message! One of my parcels!" I said angrily. Then he pulled out the text message and waved it in front of the boss's eyes.
He looked at it carefully and still looked at me strangely, "It's still the same thing! Third child, is your brain burned out?"
"You just lost your mind!" I took the phone back and looked at the text message. It was not wrong. Then I looked at the boss who had a strange look on his face. I decided that he must have started lying to me again and I ignored him. , put the phone in his pocket and continue eating. The boss seemed to be looking for boredom. He muttered a few words and then started eating again.
"Boss, do you know if anyone has collected mail packages on the bridge in front of our school playground?" I finished my meal in a hurry and couldn't help but ask curiously. "I don't know!" The boss seemed to be angry, and continued to slowly eat the few dishes left on the plate without raising his head. Suddenly, he raised his head suddenly, "Why do you ask about that bridge?"
"Uh, I have a mail package that I need to get over there!"
"Don't you know the history of that bridge?" The boss's face began to become extremely serious, and his voice was low and creepy.
Many people know that medical school is the most haunted place, and there are always one or two places that everyone talks about as forbidden places. The small bridge in our school is one of them.
The bridge is called "Naihe Bridge". It is said that when the school was first built, this place was still a wasteland. On a whim, a certain big boss who invested in the school construction had a canal dug here, connecting it to a small river outside the school, and then again here A small bridge was built. It took a lot of effort to name the bridge, and the leaders argued endlessly, but it was still the investment boss who made the final decision. The bridge was called Naihe Bridge, and the water channel below was called Wangchuan Canal. As soon as this decision was announced, it won the approval of many teachers and students. It confirmed the place names in the supernatural novels with reality, allowing people to clearly feel those illusory things, and aroused the excitement of many people.
However, since a few years ago, a girl cut her wrists on the bridge and then jumped into the Wangchuan Canal and fell to her death, the place began to become extraordinary. Because since the girl died, every three years, someone would commit suicide there in the same way. Later, the school invited many well-known experts to investigate, but they only found that the plants beside the bridge had strong hallucinogenic effects, and nothing else was found. After cutting down all the plants near the bridge, the same plants will still grow in less than a month. As a result, the name "Ghost Bridge" spread throughout the school.
"It has become a wasteland now. Who would let you go there?" There was a hint of doubt in the boss's voice. He scratched his head and asked, "Are you sure that message asked you to go there?" There was a hint of doubt in his voice. The jokes in the past were gone and he became extremely solemn.
I nodded and read the text message to him. Suddenly, he slapped his head violently, threw his chopsticks on the table, turned around and ran out of the restaurant.
When I returned to the dormitory, I saw him searching for something on the computer. His hands were shaking, as if he had discovered some unknown secret. Seeing me coming in, he waved me over. I saw his chest rising and falling violently, and his Adam's apple rolling, as if he was trying his best to calm down.
"Third brother, you are in danger!" The boss's words made my heart skip a beat.
After finishing speaking, he pointed at the computer and said quickly, "Nine years ago, since the girl committed suicide at Naihe Bridge, someone has committed suicide there in the same way every three years. It has been 10 years since the last time someone committed suicide there. The time also happened to be three years! And…" His voice suddenly trailed off, and he pointed at a sentence on the screen with trembling hands, "The boy who committed suicide three years ago received a package in the mail before he died, and he died a week later. committed suicide!"
My heart was beating hard at this moment, and I hurriedly grabbed the mouse and pulled it down. After reading the entire article, my hands dropped weakly and my calves felt weak, as if they could not support the weight of my whole body. The sentence at the end of the article hit me in the chest like a sledgehammer: According to the roommates of each suicide victim, the deceased had received a package about a week before committing suicide, and his subsequent behavior was… Begins to become abnormal until death.
Suddenly, there was a "Peng" sound, and the door was pushed open with great force. The bodies of the boss and I trembled suddenly. We turned around and saw that it was the second brother who was back. "Hey, why do you look so ugly? Could it be that you did something bad and I caught you doing something bad?" The second brother looked at us showing guilty consciences, smiled evilly, and joked about us at the top of his lungs.
The boss said nothing and pointed at the computer. The second child looked at the screen in confusion, "Oh, this is outdated news. Aren't you scared by this?" The second child was still smiling.
"I just received a parcel in the mail today. I was asked to pick it up at the Ghost Bridge!"
"What?" The second child's face turned pale instantly, "Where is it? What kind of thing? How did I give it to you?" He hurriedly grabbed my arm, and then he probably felt that he was too panicked, so he calmed down. After a while, he said cautiously: "You two are not lying to me, are you?"
The boss rolled his eyes at him, "Do we look like we are lying to you?"
"Where's the package?" The second child turned to look at me.
"A text message just came in today, and I haven't gone to get it yet." I waved my hands, and then covered my forehead helplessly.
"Where is the text message? Let me take a look!" The second child's face was full of anxiety.
"We can't see it at all, only the third child can see it!" the boss continued.
"How could this happen?" The second child asked doubtfully, and then fell into thinking.
"Third brother, what are you going to do?" The boss spoke first.
I held my head in my hands and my body trembled involuntarily, "I…I don't know!"
At this time, the second child suddenly said, "Why don't we just go get that package?"
"It's absolutely impossible. The girl didn't pick up the package six years ago. As a result, someone else put the package in their dormitory. After she died, the other three girls in the dormitory were all missing. Their lives are unknown." The boss pointed at the computer with his voice. lower and lower.
The slanting sunset coated our faces with a layer of golden color. On normal days, this must be a leisurely afternoon. But now, all three people in the dormitory stood in front of the bed with pale faces. After a long period of dead silence, I felt that it was time for me to do what I was destined to do.
"Boss, second brother, forget it, I'll give it a try!" After a fierce struggle, I finally made a decision.
"Third brother, I'll accompany you!" the boss and the second child said together.
"No!" I objected loudly, "It's okay for me to be cursed by this motherfucker. I will never harm you!" After saying that, I was about to leave, but the two of them suddenly grabbed my arms, "The third child "We must accompany you!" Their voices were extremely loud and determined. Then the second child said in his usual smiling voice: "Maybe it was just a false alarm!"
There was a wry smile on my face, and I knew in my heart that this was true. Ever since that weird text message was sent, everything was doomed. I didn't want my brothers to be implicated by me, but looking at the firm eyes of the eldest and second eldest brother, I felt big tears in my eyes for a moment.
Death does not seem to be terrible!
part2: Mandala Dream
Autumn in the north seems to come very quickly. Just after the Mid-Autumn Festival, the campus has already fallen leaves, adding a bit of desolation of late autumn. After passing the dense weeping willows on the south side of the playground, what is in front of us is another world. Clusters of bright flowers are swaying in the wind beside the Naihe Bridge. The small bridge is flowing with water, and the spring is full. If others don't know the history here, they will think that This is a paradise on earth.
"I didn't expect that guy didn't show up and just put the package on the bridge. Aren't you afraid that others would take it away?" The second child casually broke off a branch from the tree next to him and said casually.
"Do you think anyone dares to take things here now? Be careful with the branches in your hands, they are cursed!" Boss Qiangzuo joked lightly.
The second child was so frightened that he immediately threw the branch to the ground and stepped hard on it. Suddenly he felt something strange about me and turned his head, "The third child, what's wrong with you?"
I held the package blankly, but my eyes were attracted by the scenery on both sides. Such a quaint little bridge and the colorful plants on both sides felt a bit familiar. Suddenly, I tried hard to recall everything here, but for a moment I felt a sharp pain in my head like needles. I could only throw the package to the ground and beat my head hard to get rid of it. The pain eases a little, but it's all in vain.
"Third child, third child, what's wrong with you?" The second child looked anxiously at me beating myself like a madman.
"My head hurts, it hurts so much!"
The boss was also pacing back and forth, "What should I do? What should I do?" At this time, he noticed a large cluster of small blue flowers blooming next to him. "The bergamot flower is the bergamot flower!" he shouted excitedly. out. "What are you shouting for? It's not like I've never seen it before. Let's see why the third child has a headache!" After the second child finished speaking, he cursed, "Damn, this place is really a ghost place!"
"Who are you like to be a pre-exam rusher?" The boss ran to the so-called sedge flowers, picked a few and then ran back quickly, "You don't know about the sage flowers? What about the mandala?" You know, right? They are the same plant. They have hallucinogenic effects. As long as they are not taken too much, they can make people temporarily forget about pain. Third child, eat this!" Then he kneaded the remaining petals into a ball and stuck it on it. On my temples.
Maybe the flower really worked, and my headache eased a little. Looking at the anxious expressions of the boss and the others, I couldn't help but be deeply moved. As I looked, I noticed the flowers in the boss's hand, "Is this the mandala flower? It's quite beautiful!" I said He forced himself to laugh a few times, then stood up tremblingly.
"Third brother, are you okay?" The boss suddenly looked at me strangely.
"It's okay!" I replied doubtfully.
"Last semester we had a medicinal material identification class. When the teacher took out this flower, no one in the class could recognize it except you. Moreover, you also explained its physiological characteristics and medicinal functions. Even the teacher You don’t even know me, so why don’t you recognize me now?”
"Last semester?" I patted my head and tried to recall, but I couldn't recall anything at all. "I…I forgot, I don't…remember." I tried hard to calm down, but the pain in my head It hit me overwhelmingly again. I tried my best to calm myself down and not think about these things, but the pain brought me to the edge of collapse.
The late autumn wind seems to be able to penetrate here, and the surrounding flowers and plants are swaying slightly, exuding a smoky fragrance from time to time, but this fragrance makes my headache more severe. In the trance, I only feel a trace of erratic sound coming, getting more and more… Nearby, "Su Cheng, come back… come back…" Following this voice, I suddenly felt that the path of the mandala beside me was gradually lengthening, and all the strength in my body seemed to be drawn away, and my body involuntarily moved towards Advancing in the Forgotten River Canal.
"No, no!" I opened my eyes suddenly and tried to stand up with my hands on the ground, but the tentacles were unusually soft. "Where is this place?" I murmured to myself in a low voice. Looking up, I saw a pale ceiling with an icy air above my head. There were a few simple chairs placed around it. The curtains of broken plaid cloth blocked the sunlight outside the room, leaving only a few gaps for the sunlight to shine through. , so the room doesn't look too dark. I rubbed my aching head, then slowly walked to the window and pulled the curtains to both sides. Strong sunlight suddenly shone in. I closed my eyes and slowly opened them when I was almost used to it.
The leaves of the sycamore trees outside the window are swaying slightly in the sunshine, and the trees in the distance all show a green and colorful scenery. The cicadas are chirping, either high or low in the forest. The sky is clear and white clouds are floating, all of which show a scene of midsummer.
Suddenly, I felt the warm sunshine bathing my body like a nightmare, causing me to break into cold sweat. I hurriedly ran back and picked up the calendar beside my pillow. It showed June 25th. I remember that it was still late autumn when I fell into a coma. Could it be that I have been in a coma for more than half a year? The facts were before my eyes. My chest felt like it was being pressed by a boulder, and I couldn't breathe. I could only lie on my back weakly on the bed.
"Boss, Second Brother" I shouted with force, maybe they were the only ones who could make me feel a little more at ease now.
"You're awake!" A middle-aged man walked in holding a teacup.
"Who are you?" I retracted my feet and asked alertly.
"I am your primary care physician."
"What disease do I have? Why have I been asleep for so long?"
"It hasn't been long, it's only been half a month. Besides, you've woken up several times during this period. This is the fourth time you've woken up!"
"What? Impossible!" I shouted hysterically, "I clearly remember that I fell into a coma by the Naihe Bridge in late autumn. It's already June, it can't be only half a month!"
The doctor suddenly smiled strangely and said, "This time you can actually remember the time and place when you were unconscious. Haha, this dream is not simple!"
"Dream?" I looked at him doubtfully, "What dream?"
"Remember, the things you remembered before are all your imagination, your dreams, and the characters in your memory are all imaginary and fictitious!"
For a moment, I just felt like the world was spinning, and I collapsed on the ground, "Impossible! Impossible!"
part3: Who knows the big dream
Su Cheng, born in June 1992, is 19 years old and has a high school education. Abandoned at birth, he grew up in a social welfare institution and was adopted by a middle-aged couple at the age of five. In May 2011, his adoptive parents died in a car accident while they were out. A month later, Su Cheng suffered from severe schizophrenia due to stimulation and was sent to T City Mental Hospital.
I stroked this thin piece of information, and except for my name, I had no impression of anything else on it. "High school diploma?" I whispered, "Is that really a dream?"
Now, my brain no longer hurts for no reason, but I feel as if my heart has fallen into an ice cellar, as if something I have owned for a long time has been taken away from my arms by others, helpless and desolate, even if Even the blazing sunlight cannot be driven away.
Just as I was sitting on the swivel chair on the window sill , flipping through the information over and over again, I felt some noise behind me, and I knew that Wang Qiang was here.
Wang Qiang is my attending doctor. He is tall and thin, with a pair of splayed eyes. No matter where he goes, he always holds his plastic tea cup in his hand. I heard that he is good at using some hypnotic techniques. To treat schizophrenia, but I don't think he is very clever. Hypnosis and fortune-telling are just tricks.
"How's it going? Did you remember something?" He looked at me with a smile.
I admit that his smile is indeed very kind. For ordinary patients, this can indeed relieve the patient's pressure and promote the improvement of the condition. But I have an extremely strong sense of rejection in my heart.
I just shook my head symbolically because I really couldn't remember anything.
"Then let me ask you a few questions, okay?" He squatted down and looked at me levelly.
I nodded indifferently.
"Can you still recall your dream completely or clearly now… Well, have you experienced anything?" I heard that he was trying hard to avoid the topic of dreams.
"Um."
"Didn't you notice something unusual there?"
"No!"
"Your dream…well, is what you experienced really important to you?"
I turned my head and looked at him intently, "It's very important! And I firmly believe that they are not my imagination, they are real people and my brothers!"
He may not have expected that my emotions would be so intense. After a moment of astonishment, a smile appeared on his face.
"Our ancestors believed that dreams are not a product of the unconscious. For thousands of years, countless psychiatrists and philosophers have wanted to obtain an explanation of the future by analyzing dreams, so they believe that dreams are the future. The product of reality projected into people's subconscious is a kind of oracle-like thing that can arouse people's imagination." He stood up and looked out the window with his hands behind his back. "And most people do. You think dreams can be explained, don’t you?”
"I don't want to hear you talk about these empty theories!" I felt a little frustrated.
"Not only dreams, everything in this world can be explained." He didn't care about my state and continued, "When a person is stimulated by some kind of stimulation, most of the time it will appear in dreams. It is a subconscious protective effect. We often forget the dreams we have had, but when you are extremely dissatisfied or desperate with reality, your subconscious will amplify and then reflect it. We will remember such dreams particularly deeply, for example, you! "
"You, Su Cheng, are withdrawn and like to be alone, so you are always rejected by your classmates. When you were twelve years old, because the girl behind you didn't let you copy her homework, you burned all her books. ! And when you were fifteen years old, you had an argument with someone and severely injured them. Later, after a doctor determined that you had a potential mental illness, you were not held criminally responsible. " Wang Qiang's voice was unusually calm, without much fluctuation. But the things he said made my head hurt more and more.
"Ah! No! I don't want to hear it anymore, I can't remember this at all!" I covered my head and shouted at him.
But he was still talking to himself, "Also, when you were nineteen years old, that is, starting in April this year, your mood became more and more unstable, so your adoptive parents asked me to do something to you. Psychological counseling. However, tragedy still happened. After your family had a car accident, you suffered a complete mental breakdown and fell into a coma for a long time. "
When he finally finished speaking, I felt that most of my back was soaked with sweat, and my head still ached like needles. His hands hung limply on both sides of the chair. The chirping of cicadas in midsummer was disturbing, and the scorching sunshine made me suddenly feel a sense of emptiness. My spirit was very weak, and I really wanted to sleep.
"I can get you back there again!"
He said, turning to look at me and smiling slightly,
"How about giving it a try?"