one
I still can't reduce the impact of that incident on my heart, not even a little bit. I am a person who is very sensitive to everything, and my temper is also ups and downs because of my eccentric personality. So I think the reason why I can't forget that incident is because I am extremely sensitive to it deep down in my heart, so that it is impossible for me to deliberately erase it from my mind. The violent and calm tempers in my brain, which were running almost simultaneously, intensified the incident into a new way of thinking that might destroy some of my accustomed concepts.
Sometimes I hear the noisy and chaotic wailing in heaven, and at the same time, I can see the peaceful and quiet sunshine in hell. For some of the things I tell you, you may say I am talking crazy, or It's nonsense. But I'd rather you say I'm neurotic than say I'm crazy and talking nonsense.
Because there are always some things in the world that cannot be thoroughly thought out with one's limited thinking. Maybe I can't explain some things that cannot be explained by so-called science, but I will never hide it. Without thinking, I admitted it and made it public. For this, people are more convinced that this is the behavior of a madman. I don't want to make any excuses. If only madmen can get close to the truth of certain things, I would rather be a madman. madman.
Of course, I'm not a crazy person. I'm a normal person, I'm just curious about what I encounter.
There are many things or substances in this world that are difficult for us to imagine, living their own "life", or spending their own "time" according to their own trajectory. Simply understand it as what is in our minds.
Perhaps, there are such "things" living around us humans. They cannot see us, and we cannot see their faces. Their "lives" and "trajectories" are very similar or very different. , it doesn't matter, I just want to say that there is such a kind of "thing" and it is around us. For example, you and your friends are sitting together and chatting, and there may be a "thing" between you. Doing other "activities".
We often surround our houses with walls and build a tall and magnificent gate to declare that this is my territory and no one can enter without my permission. I would like to say that this behavior is normal. It is the nature of animals, such as a wolf or a tiger, they will mark their territory and warn outsiders if they enter, and if that doesn't work, they will resort to force. But I want to say that the houses we build and the buildings where human activities are carried out Could it be that there have been other "things" existing inside matter for a long time?
If you point your finger at outsiders who step into your house and yell "Don't come in," that's correct, but will these "things" living with you say the same thing to you one day?
Just to be clear, I don't mean this "thing" in a derogatory way, I just don't quite know what to call these "neighbors"
Some scholars and scientists who claim to study these "unnatural" phenomena have ten thousand reasons to deny my above argument. They will take the theorems and laws they have just proved on the manuscript paper and open the textbook Chapter 52. Page 33, combined with the normal rules of operation of all things accepted by many people, tells me that you are a lunatic!
Just because something is not understood doesn’t mean it cannot be understood. Look at our results. You have a negative attitude!
I'm just saying that there's far more we don't know than there is we do know.
two
If you still think I'm a lunatic to a certain extent, then listen carefully to how I tell you the whole story in a conscious, calm and composed manner.
Before I boarded the train, I sat in the waiting room, my mind haunted by the horrible scene of brains all over the floor and bodies torn into pieces. In fact, I had a newspaper in my hand the whole time, and it was a kind of urban entertainment type. , my eyes hardly left the newspaper, but my mind kept thinking about falling off the train. What surprised me even more was that the image in my mind was so realistic that it reflected my body. The part of the body that rolled went to the same place, and there was a skull drawn in red pen on the piece of railroad track where my eyeball was crushed.
I thought about it over and over again, like watching a movie. I was so scared that my face and palms were covered with cold sweat. I had never experienced such a terrible thing before, and I experienced it again and again. I sat there motionless, talking to him over and over again. I drank one and a half of the two bottles of mineral water in my schoolbag. I looked around at other people, hoping to gain some comfort from their calmness. However, when I turned around, I saw a middle-aged man with a big head of hair. His face was pale, his hands were covering his stomach, he was groaning in pain, it seemed like he was going to die. I felt a shadow in my heart, so I quickly turned my head around, and suddenly, the man put one hand on On my shoulder, he stretched out his face, as pale as a death, towards me and said, "I have a stomachache. Please help me get the medicine from my bag, please!"
I turned my head and saw a skull face. It was the skull on the railroad track! I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand it. I felt like I was electrocuted. I was shaking all over and fled from that seat in a panic. , ran to the toilet like a madman.
In the bathroom, I washed my face, sobered up, and threw all the food into the trash can. There was only half a bottle of water in my small backpack.
In my mind, the reason I fell off the train was because there were too many people and I had too many things in my backpack, so I was squeezed down. Now, I only have half a bottle of water in my backpack.
For some reason, there were several times more people on that train than usual, and there were even many policemen in dark blue uniforms on board. I slowly entered the carriage amidst the crowds of people. I was carrying a bag of water, a bag of noodles and sausage in my right hand, and a bag on my back that bent my waist. I was afraid I wouldn't even be able to get to my seat. Of course, I didn't want to bring any food. The reason for this was not only the tragic omen, but also an unknown secret hidden deep in my heart.
Any extreme hatred or extreme joy on the surface is only on the surface. Only by exploring its inner self can we get the most reasonable answer. I am no exception.
three
But even this small bag was unbearable for me. When I was pushed out of the carriage by a peasant-looking uncle with a cigarette in his mouth and his pants open, I finally wanted to throw the bag away, or I wanted to hit his big black head, so that blood would splatter everywhere and brain would pop out. I glared at him and asked him with a fierce look why he squeezed me. He just looked at something else with a wooden expression. He didn't even have time to take out the cigarette and knock off the ash, letting it burn the corners of his mouth.
I suddenly saw that there was another person behind him. I don’t want to use any words to describe his appearance. Because at that time, my heart was already burning with anger, and I could only use the most vicious and cruel words. I believe that as long as you are a human being, when someone intentionally or unintentionally harms your interests, you will hate him and even want to retaliate against him. This is the hatred in the world. As long as someone offends me, , I will pay him back at the same price. But at that time, I seemed to have regained a little bit of rationality. I only saw that he had a round face and a fat body, and turned my head away.
A strange obsession with cleanliness makes my eccentric personality even more prominent, which is that my hatred for people with this body shape has reached the extreme.
At this moment, that round face and fat body have been deeply engraved in my brain, so that I will think of it without hesitation whenever I encounter similar things in the future. Of course, in my opinion , really any time you feel angry or upset.
After much difficulty, I finally found a seat covered with rags near the window and sat down comfortably. My journey was long and my destination was far away. I had to put my restless mind at ease. I had to calm down, otherwise every minute and every second here would be my nightmare and hell. However, I had just come from a wide and crowded hall to such a narrow place, and it was difficult for me to adapt psychologically. This trip added to the disgust and disdain.
To be honest, I hated and loathed this journey from every inch of my heart to every piece of my skin. My destination was a place I didn't want to go to, and I didn't even want to mention it. A place to mention. Like all the helplessness in the world, many times, we have to do things that we don’t like or even hate, detest, disgust, or are unwilling to do.
But there is no way, we have to do it, we have no choice.
Some words with the appearance of good advice would persuade me like this: the destination cannot be chosen, but the process can be changed, so why not find the happiness that should be in the process? If I could, I would spit on this sentence. , using vicious words to say, bullshit!
I hate the middle-aged man with myopia on the train who was biting a pen and thinking hard. His appearance reminded me of those well-dressed professors. I feel disgusted by the blonde-haired woman sitting in front of me. Vomit. I saw the guy standing next to me, staring at the long-haired girl's white skirt with his eyes. And the uncle who had been standing in the back of the car, still holding a The smoke made everyone around him turn their backs to him. There was almost no flesh left on his body, just a pile of dead wood with a head that could move freely. Years of smoking had taken its toll on him.
I had to calm down, so I closed my eyes and tried to think of something other than what was happening on the train. If I couldn't do this, I felt I would fall into an abyss from which there would be no return.
Four
I don't know when it was, I don't know if I was asleep or dreaming, I only heard a huge roar, like the earth-shaking cry of the devil in hell rushing out of hell and returning to the world. The long, miserable sigh of an angel from heaven being banished to hell. Later, I realized that the vendor had come and I woke up. I rubbed my eyes and opened the curtains, only to find that the train had already entered. The quiet night.
The guy sitting next to me who looked like a monkey was taking money out of his pocket, and then he took a bottle of mineral water for three yuan. When he leaned over to take the water, I noticed that there was a shiny thing in his bag. things.
I think it's time for me to throw money. I have to buy water, otherwise, every minute and every second I am here will be nothing but nightmare and hell. That half bottle of mineral water has already gone into my stomach.
When I took out the money, my eyes met her cold eyes. I don't know what words to use to describe her big white eyes, what words to use to describe those eyes What words can describe the shock and awe that those eyes brought to me at that time? The mysterious and amazing feeling that was superimposed on my feelings. So, I just said one word, cold. Her eyes were big, but lifeless. Her white eyes gave people a sickly feeling. Her eyelashes were long, but not beautiful at all, just like her crooked, long, white and scary face.
In that hasty glance, I also caught a glimpse of her eyebrows and eyelashes. The eyebrows were a thin black line, which seemed to have been processed, but I was afraid it was too much. I always felt that it was a line on her long face. There were no extra black lines. She had no eyebrows and only a few eyelashes, which were covered with many water droplets, which should have been condensed from the heat from the lunch box in the cart she pushed.
Anyway, I didn't like her at all, because she was fat and had a round head. I turned my head to the window, pretending to appreciate the dark night view outside. She continued to walk forward, She was walking and shouting, "Selling things." I cursed her in my heart, "Fuck you." I have another advantage, which is that I never express my dissatisfaction or hatred towards others, even if I express it in a tactful way. Impossible. I will just find opportunities to retaliate against him in secret whenever possible. Therefore, my enemies usually don’t know that they have offended me, nor will they be on guard against me. This makes many of my I believe that many people cannot do this.
At midnight, I couldn't take it anymore. My bottle of water had already gone into my stomach, but I wanted more. I wanted more water. I had to wait until she came for the last time. I was able to buy some water. But how could that be possible? It was midnight now, and the carriage was filled with a terrible, suffocating silence. No one was awake except me. I looked out the window again. , just some flashes of light and the pitch black night. My lips were already chapped and my hair was already starting to get dry and itchy. I couldn't stand it anymore. I originally wanted to use my I had to use a lot of willpower and courage to get through this, because I didn't want to be bitten and eaten by those disgusting schistosomes again. But I know that my little willpower and courage will eventually disappear like the light in the flashlight. The last bit of electricity is almost gone.
I waited anxiously and eagerly for the gospel to reach my parched ears, moisten their hearts, and allow them to regain God's protection. But my wait seemed longer than my journey. I felt that the present moment was Seconds have become a huge concept of time, not hours, not days, not months, not years, but something bigger than light years. I know everyone understands this feeling. In the hospital, Or at the scene of a car accident, a dying person is wrapped in his own blood, and the only faint hope in his heart is that someone will come to save him. However, this glimmer of hope is like a seriously injured soldier on the battlefield, a terminally ill patient, or a person who can't swim. People who are struggling in the water or accidentally falling from a 36-story building all hope that a miracle will happen, but the probability is zero.
Although I know she won't come again, I can go find her. This idea suddenly popped up in my chaotic mind. Yes, as long as I am not afraid of trouble and successfully pass through the densely packed aisles filled with all kinds of people, I can find water. I can rush out of hell like the devil in hell and be reborn. This is a good idea. I am a little proud of myself and try to show an ugly smile to the glass next to my right ear. I always think that I am an ugly person. In such a repressed and oppressed place, my ugliness becomes more obvious. But I still want to omit it because the one who appears next Things will tell you exactly what I look like.
I accidentally looked out the window, and in an instant I saw a shadow like a white ghost floating on the glass. I couldn't really be sure whether it was outside the glass, inside the glass, or right in front of me. I just felt that the distance between it and me was like the distance between my eyes and nose, close but hard to touch. It was a large pure white face, without a mouth or nose, only a pair of large dull eyes. The eyes seemed to be staring at me, or as if staring at the air in front of me. They kept staring at me, as if communicating with me through eye contact, but it was only one-sided.
Those eyes suddenly smiled again, yes, they smiled, and the corners of the eyes were clearly curved. I was so frightened that I broke out in a cold sweat.
My heart was in turmoil. It was a very strange, complicated and indescribable feeling, but I knew there was no fear or terror in it. Suddenly, I had a sense of déjà vu. When I was about to When these eyes were carefully placed in the brain to search and think, they suddenly disappeared, just like a movie in a cinema, after it was over, the color screen suddenly turned black, leaving nothing behind.
After seeing that face, oh no, it should be those eyes, I felt a different kind of power filling my body for a moment. But soon, I could no longer sense this power.
Because, afterwards, I only reconstructed this experience based on the police's description and my own memories, and I had no idea what I had done.
five
I clenched my hands tightly, and then, like a lion that had been sleeping for many years, I stood up my huge, dusty shoulders. I walked towards the simple mobile toilet on the train. I didn't know what I was going to do, or what I was going to do. , I know what I want to do, I just don’t know it yet.
When I walked to the bathroom, I saw that face in the mirror. Yes, that big face, I will never forget it in my dreams. I saw it just now from the window, and now I saw it in real life. The real face of the man. The face was facing me, and I felt suffocated for a moment. But then, I regained my composure. How could a living person like me be frightened by a face? I tried hard to stay calm. Then when I finally calmed down, I took it one level higher and became sluggish and numb. I just stood there, not knowing what to do. My brain had forgotten what I was supposed to do. I naturally didn't know whether I should leave or challenge that face.
Some time later, I unknowingly returned to my seat. The guy sitting next to me was sleeping in his seat with his head tilted and his hands crossed on his chest. I was too lazy to wake him up. This annoying guy. I could disturb this extremely tired person with some unnecessary noises. I hate him very much. As for why, I can't say. But I still did nothing. I just stepped over quietly. I crossed his legs, then held the glass with my hands and slowly moved to my seat. At this moment, I really didn't want to take revenge on him, even though he stepped on my foot during the day and I slapped him. He slapped me, and now I just wanted to quietly take the dagger out of his bag and take it to the toilet.
I kept walking forward. The road was very long, like walking through the eighteen levels of hell. It was psychologically very tormenting. The road was very long, and there was darkness ahead. There was darkness all around me. I couldn't see anything. , I only know that my destination is at the end of this darkness.
When I returned to the bathroom, the big face in the mirror had not left. I remained silent, and then, when it was not on guard, I pulled out the dagger from my arms and stabbed it in the head. I didn't see any trace of blood, because I had already turned my head to the outside when I was stabbing, and when I finished stabbing, I had already I rushed out the door in a panic. Most people were asleep at this time. I accidentally stepped on a boy's foot, which made him wake up and scold me. I looked at him with horror. Like a frightened mouse, it tucked its tail between its legs and dared not make a sound.
I completed this beautiful assassination cleanly and neatly, without a trace of blood.
The next day, nothing special happened, but I felt as if I had been stabbed in the back. I was scared and uneasy even when I stood up. I saw everyone was surrounding me and laughing at me. I didn't know what to do. I don’t dare to go to the toilet again. I don’t know what happened in the toilet last night after I left, and I don’t know what happened to me. I just had a normal dream that night. I dreamed that I had reached my destination.
I just couldn't get off the train no matter what. Behind me was that big face and that white ghost floating behind it. As long as I turned around, I could see it.
The woman who was pushing the cart to sell things had already arrived. I took money out of my pocket and wanted to buy back the bottle of water from yesterday. When I saw the mineral water in the cart, I finally realized that I was very thirsty. I had to buy this bottle of water. Without looking up, I handed over the money, took the water, twisted the cap open like any thirsty person, and poured it into my mouth.
Having said that, many people will still think that I am talking nonsense, but as for what happens next, it is up to you whether you think it is nonsense or fabricated, I will narrate it in a rigorous style.
The water in the bottle turned bright red. My mouth was all red. The corners of my mouth were also red. My entire mouth, my throat, my stomach, my whole body were all red. It was all red. I didn't want to say that word, but I could clearly smell the pungent fishy smell!
I turned my eyes to the seller in embarrassment, she smiled at me, her eyes were curved. It was that ghostly face, those blurry eyes, I will never forget it!
six
Later, when I got off the train, the police came and asked me if I did it. I smiled calmly and said no.
The police had no evidence, they just suspected my fear and my paranoia. Indeed, after I drank a full bottle of the bright red stuff, I became a little delirious. I would also I saw that ghost at night. He was still telling me to go to that toilet
But I still remained calm and composed. I even took them to the toilet a little too proudly. I said, "Look, this is the toilet in our carriage. I have only used the toilet here." They seemed to see that What, but he seemed to know nothing, just laughed at me like a fool. After laughing, he just sat there looking at me, not saying a word for a long time. I started to feel uncomfortable, I really hope they can hurry up Go. My journey must be finished as quickly as possible, or I will not be able to bear it.
After a long time, they still said nothing, but stared at every inch of my skin with their dull eyes. I couldn't help it, I started laughing, I started Screaming like crazy, I started yelling that I would take them to the farthest toilet and tell them what happened that night.
The water seller was found dead in the toilet of the ninth carriage, and I was in the sixteenth carriage.
She had many knife wounds on her head, the most fatal one was the one that stabbed her throat. The monkey-like guy sitting next to me said that his knife was lost. The boy said he saw me coming out of the toilet in carriage 16 last night. .
When I was handcuffed, I still wanted to say that this thing, which seemed incredible to others, once again proved the correctness of my words. Those so-called scientific researchers could not find any The answer to this question is that they have never encountered a ghost with only a pair of eyes. If you believe that there are other "things" living in this world, please remember that "they" can be just a pair of eyes, a pair of eyes that are enough to capture Captivating eyes.
I saw a smile in the policeman's eyes, and that curve looked very familiar.